Wednesday, 18 February 2015

Relationship and Relatives




By the virtue of our birth in a family we have relatives besides the obvious ones, like brothers and sisters, father and mother. If we try to trace the family tree and the branches produced by the marriages there is chances that we may be related with many people. It is during the demise of a relative that all the relatives and friends gather and during such times we come across new relatives, related through marriages.

Due to the commitments and works it is hard to gather together and nurture the relations. Wise saying in dzongkha goes, “Near neighbour is better than a far away relative”. It is with the people close by that we constantly deal with in times of both happy and sad days.

The distant relatives who are financially disadvantaged are the one that get surreptitiously offended if they are not considered as a relative by showing your indifference. With the traditions of calling on dwindling with the modernization it is becoming harder to keep in touch and show that you care. The feelings of, he-is-a-dasho-now-he-does-not-care, further deteriorates the fiber of close knit society that we had. In all levels of the social strata this feeling of ‘he is a big man he doesn’t care’ exists. The electronic connectivity further deteriorated the requirement of keeping in touch physically.

Sometimes it brings a tear to see the person, who you thought that he did not care, extending his help during the times of need and knows whose son/daughter you are and all about your family tree. You regret secretly about what you have been feeling about that person, remembering the incident where you deliberately avoided him putting your ego first, thinking that he did not care.

“Thank God! We can choose our friends but not our relatives” perhaps, said by the person who is not so happy with his relatives. The relationship between spouses is the most fragile relation as it is seen in our society. After getting divorced there is nothing that holds them together, not even the children, until ample time is elapsed so as to forget the loathing for each other. The worst part is that there is no time frame that after which the separation will not happen.

It is the relationship between people besides the relationship by blood, that makes the world go round. The faith and the trust that we have for each other, the expectations that we have for each other, the natural likings and loathing that we have for each other and the fact that we are all similar with flaws of human, at the end of the day asks for us to be natural rather than fake, honouring the human values.